Right Now, It's Like This

The above is a mantra I found in an article a year or two ago, when I first began a meditation practice.

"Practice" being the operative word, as, like with many things, it is a constant work in progress, calling me to examine the expectations I hold both of what "meditation" is and of myself, the outcomes I expect (if any), the reasons behind why I'm doing what I'm doing. Practice is fertile soil, ripe for plucking more than what you think you've planted.

Most people I've connected with over the last few weeks are feeling pushed to their limits. Like, yes, opportunities abound to practice all the mindfulness and tuning in and self care we've aspired to incorporate into our routines, but does this field have to be so dang full? Not all the lessons we're getting are ones we're enjoying, ones we've expected, or ones we'd choose, if given the choice.

Life, eh? 

"Right now, it's like this," just like the picture says, is something to which I return again and again.

Rather than struggle and strive to control that which is quite clearly beyond (so far beyond) our control, perhaps now is a good time to finally let go: let go of forcing things to be what we think they should (of forcing ourselves to do what we think we should be doing, fully acknowleding letting go is in many (most) ways a privilege, one not afforded in all areas to all people.).

Perhaps now is a good time to simply acknowledge that right now, it's like this, and that's it. That's all.

The associated feelings are up for examination, and you don't need to keep carrying all the baggage while you're navigating whatever circumstances you're navigating: you get to feel them and let them go (you know they're called feelings because you... feel them... right? <-- says a fellow thinker-and-writer-of-feelings; another helpful quote that sometimes feels trolly: "the way out is through." Try noticing where you feel it in your body, and what it feels like physically, when you let yourself stop thinking for a second. You may be surprised at what sinking into the physical feelings does for their release, and what putting that baggage down does for you.).

Lots of folks, on the internet and otherwise, are spending time trying to make meaning of what's happening, or to sum it up with some lesson or silver lining. That's a natural reaction to anything unknown: our brains love to organize things into schema we've already created so that it feels less scary and uncertain. It feels irresponsible of me, however, to come into your inbox and tell you what everything is supposed to mean or what you could be thrilled about in the midst of crisis (thank you to Sarah Faith Gottesdiener for the reminder). There is so much we don't know about what life looks like beyond the moment right in front of us; there is no need to feel anything other than what you're feeling, whatever that is. 

Your job right now, no matter the context, is to be here, wherever you are, and to take excellent care of yourself while you do (because you matter, too/anyway).

Right now, it's like this.

xoxo,
Steph

PS- as always, if you need a listening ear, please don't hesitate to reach out. You can drop me a line right here.