All in FAQs + hacks

I Ripped My Pants: 3 Tips to Deal with Clothes that Don't Fit

Earlier this month, I met with a CPA.

As though taxes weren’t enough bossy boss lady fun, I made the executive decision to put on pants. If you work from home or from a gym, you know how rare an event this is.

I went to put on my favorite pair of jeans,—soft, well-worn-rarely-washed denim, the kind that fit just Goldilocks-level right—and as I realized they’d been folded in a drawer for 6 months, I squatted down, and, riiiiip.

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

If you spend much time on the internet, particularly in the personal development and/or fitness mindset space, it's likely you've heard quite a bit of talk about, "rewriting your stories," and, "releasing that which no longer serves you." 

Rather than the freedom these phrases were likely intended to impart, I was left with a slow-burning rage:

OKAY, YOU SUPER-EVOLVED BEING IN THIS TINY INSTAGRAM SQUARE, BUT HOW? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

*insert failure and shame*

Why Fitness and Nutrition Feel So Complicated


Sometimes I think we make fitness and nutrition more complicated than they need to be.

"Easy for you to say; you have a degree in this, and you've worked in this field for almost a decade. The rest of us don't have that knowledge and are supposed to eat low-carb and go on 74 walks a day one day, low-fat and nothing but short intense workouts the next," you might be thinking, and I get that.

But I firmly believe the barrier to entry feels so steep by design: if the world keeps you believing there's a secret or, "one weird trick," then you won't trust your own body or yourself, and you'll hand over whatever you have to restore that feeling of competence that seems to be locked in a golden tower.

Fighting with Your Scale? 7 Better Ways to Measure Progress

Monday morning did roll around, carrying an unwieldy dose of guilt and shame every time.

I’d wake up, feel badly for not, “sticking to the plan,” wondering why I couldn’t just have one, “cheat meal,” why I had to do this every time, why anyone ever saw anything in me other than a fraud, and I’d step on the scale.

I lived and died by that number.

If it wasn’t too far off my Friday weight, then I somehow, “got away with,’ eating foods that didn’t work for me, because my feelings didn’t matter if they weren’t reflected on the scale.

If I WAS far off my Friday weight (which I often was), I was a failure, and the only solution was to buckle down even harder the next week, promising myself that this week, a “cheat meal,” would be just one meal.

Been there? How’s it working for you?

The Scale Isn't Always a Measure of Progress.

It's Monday morning, and many of us have had our day ruined already by a digital signal flashing up at us from the bathroom floor, reminding us how much mass we have and, therefore, how much space we're allowed to take up in the world. We seem to have a sort of inverse relationship with this number: the larger it is, the more we feel called to shrink.

Rather than letting that determine what we deserve every week, we'd be wise to remember that we’re in these bodies for life, and they (WE!) are so much more than measurements and numbers.

You Can Put It All Down.

The process by which each woman comes to a place of peace with food looks different for almost everyone, but it begins with knowing that we have so much more to do than worry about how many minutes of cardio we did, how many grams of fat, and how many rolls we let show this week.

Fitness and nutrition are important because they show us that we can do hard things: that we can work toward a goal, find a process that lights us up and makes us more alive, and discover layers of ourselves as yet unintroduced.

A lot of times, that looks like trying a few things out before we get there. The part we often forget to talk about, though, is that it often also looks like disconnecting, going inward, and trusting ourselves to figure the shit out. You don’t have to be (or have ever been) a bikini competitor or varsity letter athlete to get started; you can start right where you are. You’re the expert on you, and I’m here to guide you along the way.
 

Old Habits Die Hard. Here's How to Change Them {the tides, they are a'changin'.}.

So let's have a moment of compassion for Old You, who's fighting super hard for her last breath. She finds her worth in her appearance and truly believes that the answer is restricting, thinking that the accompanying binging is a personality and willpower flaw, rather than a natural rebellion against a plan not meant for her. She's fighting to stay alive, because she's afraid of a new possibility: one in which she can explore, and where there's no way to truly mess up. We're exploring and finding the best system for you.

Let's also acknowledge that Old You will be interwoven into You 2.0, because Old You has important, valuable lessons to teach.

Not the least of which is, she gets overwhelmed and scared sometimes (like we all do) and doesn't like feeling that way (because, who tf does?).

Old You is like a rescue puppy who is kind of a jerk and wants to pee on everything just because she's never known what it's like to be safe and loved and cared for, but actually means well and is trying really hard (analogy stolen from Elizabeth Gilbert, whose post on compassion for self is worth a read or ten.).

We want to change. We're on board with not denying our past selves. But we don't know anything other than self-deprecation, self-flagellation, and adopting plans that have nothing to do with us.

SO WHAT DO WE DO??

Before we continue, I’d like to point out that the scale isn’t always a measure of our progress. So many of us wrap our worth up in that number (been there), and it’s a far more fun (and lasting!) process to realize that we’re in these bodies for life. Fitness, whatever that may mean to each of us individually, is about exploration: we’re learning what movement we love, what foods serve us, how we can balance rest/relaxation/exercise/food to yield the greatest – and biggest! – possible life. Much like Mother Teresa, Wonder Woman didn’t sit around worrying about the size of her thighs; she had shit to do (and probably wanted them to be huge anyway). And so do you. So, before we go into what many of us worry about, I’d like to take a moment to pause, reflect, and get to the bottom of what we say we want: is our body change about feeling good, or about some arbitrary number we think will lead us to happiness, once we get there?

Nailing down the real reasons for our goals will help us sort out this dissonance- promise.

Knowing that I can choose be happy right this second, despite my circumstances, allows me to be grateful for all opportunities to improve. Knowing that I can choose to accept my body while still wanting it to change allows me to relax into the process and take an objective look about my methods.

Knowing that what I’m trying to do is feel more energetic, and certain foods make me feel bloated and tired, will help me to avoid those foods (dairy, nightshades, gluten, whichever potential allergen) to choose not the pizza (full of all 3, coincidentally) but a turkey burger instead. It doesn’t feel like deprivation (“I’m trying to get skinny, so I can’t have pizza” is a sad, sad statement.) but a benefit (because, “I’m trying to not feel like a beached whale every time I eat something I enjoy and would rather find something that I can enjoy and feel normal afterwards” is a much more fun mission). Hence, the exercise here: getting to the nitty gritty.

You're the architect of your life (FREE workout enclosed!). 👊❤

We are the architects of our lives. We get to construct what we want, every single moment of every single day. We don’t have to give our power away, believing that happiness comes when we get the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect home, or the perfect body. We can choose happy – we can choose to be grateful, to be joyful, to be loving – and shift the space in which we find ourselves, even if not a single circumstance has changed. The fascinating part of the Law of Attraction/the Secret/whatever you’d like to call it, is when we act as if we already have what we want, we begin to take the actions that lead us to our end goals, believing that we’re worthy of receiving them (spoiler: you are.).

So, that dream job? Dream life? Dream body? You got it, dude.

Bunless Burgers v Rice Cakes with Peanut Butter: A Lesson

Our mindset when it comes to nutrition is vital to our success.

If we think of eating well as a chore- as many of us do, because “diet” is the worst four-letter word I know- we’re unlikely to experience success. You know the drill (so do I): we think of “getting back on the wagon,” we cut out the foods we love and opt only for the boring stuff we sorta hate, we crave sugar so jazz up a rice cake with some peanut butter and pretend to be happy, we see success for 4-10 days, then we’re face-first in ice cream, because rice cakes and peanut butter after dry chicken and loads of steamed broccoli aren’t cutting it.

What if, instead of examining this as a chore, we explored ways to serve ourselves?

What if we looked at our nutrition from the perspective of athletes who want to nourish our bodies, our minds, and our performance?

How would our attitudes change?

Imagine: we’re out to eat, and, while we know that no situation will be perfect, we’re aware of what “ideal” looks like for us. We know we need to prioritize protein for muscles, a few starchy carbs for energy, and a lot of fibrous, watery veggies to feel full and get our vitamins. We don’t have to skip a meal with our friends, because we know that the FOMO will lead to a regret-fueled, “I deserve this, because I sacrificed my social time” potato chip binge, so we navigate the middle, go out, have a glass of wine, a salad, a bunless burger, and maybe a French fry or two. We come home and feel satisfied, neither bloated nor deprived, we take the dogs for a short walk, and go to bed to wake up feeling rested and refreshed.