All in FAQs + hacks

How to Get Started When You're Nervous to Start (A Step-By-Step Guide)

COURAGE, the cowardly dog and the secret ingredient.

Making any sort of change takes an ounce or two of bravery. You know that, because those fitness/life changes you've thought about but haven't made are sitting there licking their lips and twiddling their thumbs, looming in the distance, reminding you of what you haven't done yet, which is at the very least intimidating, if not downright terrifying.

Hoards of advice would tell you to just do it anyway, that the only way to get started is to start, that the time is passing by no matter what so you might as well get to stepping. I don't disagree, and also... if you were gonna get started after hearing all that, you would've done it already ("you," is really, "we," here).

The fear will never disappear entirely, so, what then?

Does It Feel Like, "Loving Your Body," Is Only For Other People?

I know many people who wake up every morning, and right before they look in the mirror to greet themselves for the day, they feel pure terror. Dread. Fear. We steel ourselves up to brace for the, "flaws," someone else has told us will be there, and we wonder how, "bad," they look that day, and the chorus starts:

"Ugh, gross."
"I can't wear that. Do I have any clean, flowy tops?"
"I'm giving a presentation today; will this hold across my chest?"
"I shouldn't have eaten ____ last night. I never get this right."


We've discussed it before, but it bears repeating: the language you're using has a measurable impact on your perspective.

Many clients come to me unhappy with their bodies, desperately hoping that the program I present will hold all the secrets to body change, and, as a result, happiness. They're disappointed to find out that it doesn't always work that way, and, in fact, countless repeated incidents of this led me to examine my coaching philosophy, such that I no longer coach with a focus on intentional fat loss.

Liking our bodies (and ourselves) is an inside job, one that can't be completed in an hour a day at the gym and a salad every night for dinner. It's a practice, and it often feels unreachable: how many times have you asked yourself, "how do I go from hating everything about my body to loving it? LOVING it?"

It seems a million miles away for a lot of us. It did for me.

One Self-Care Tip for Your Weekend (and Every Day, to Nurture Your Inner Boss)

Sometimes the best I've got is doing a #Friday morning face mask, putting laundry in, and deciding⁠—mid-Marco-Polo-client-checkin as I'm trying to escape my super loud washer/dryer, no less (I didn't exactly think that timing through)⁠—working from bed is the move for the day.

We've been conditioned to believe we must follow the rules: sit up straight, be here at this time, wear this, do that, be quiet, look like this, eat that. Our worth is often measured by our productivity: we believe we're only worthy of rest, reflection, of any kind of space after we've gotten things ticked off our to-do lists, submitted our reports, proven our value.

You can break the rules, of course, and I'm assuming if you're here reading my work, you already know that. You may just need a reminder, so let this serve as one.

How to Eat Pancakes Without the Side of Guilt

BUT HOW DO YOU JUST...GO EAT PANCAKES? 🥞

(I do see this is a cheeseburger.)

Look, I understand it's early in the week, and you have #goals to hit, and you're "supposed to be" eating nothing but chicken boobs and vegetables. If you're recovering from diet culture, the prospect of a, "fuck it, let's go get pancakes," Sunday like I frequently mention may seem terrifying. You might be thinking, "if I did that, I'd eat candy and mac and cheese for the rest of the day. I'd rather stick to the plan."

First and foremost, I think coaches who say, "it's just one day!" are giving lazy advice (similar to, "just love your body!"). Like, if that didn't send you into a spiral of anxiety and frustration in the first place, you'd be there already. NEXT.

STRESSED? 😬 What to do About Your Training

“I went to squat yesterday. My warmup felt fine — I was a little tired, but I thought once I started lifting I’d feel better. I usually do,” a client said to me.

"When I got to the working sets, everything felt HEAVY. Like, heavier than it should have. I finished the workout anyway, because it was written down, so I had to do it. But I’ve felt like everything is heavy and takes longer than it used to for a couple of weeks now.

What am I doing wrong? Am I losing all my progress? How am I going backwards when I haven’t skipped a workout?”

I could hear it in her voice: the frustration, the confusion, and the shame composing a horrifying opera whose featured aria, “You’re a Failure!” is familiar to us all.

When I hear this song in my line of work, my first course of action is to listen (we all need to be heard, after all), followed by asking questions.

The questions give me box seats to the full production, where I learn it’s not only the weights that feel heavy but life as well. And the last thing we need to do when life gets lifey is up the stress ante with long, heavy, grindy workouts.

Sometimes long, heavy, grindy workouts are just what the doctor ordered, but sometimes they’re pouring gasoline on the fire, leaving us feeling ineffective and not knowing where to go next.

I Ripped My Pants: 3 Tips to Deal with Clothes that Don't Fit

Earlier this month, I met with a CPA.

As though taxes weren’t enough bossy boss lady fun, I made the executive decision to put on pants. If you work from home or from a gym, you know how rare an event this is.

I went to put on my favorite pair of jeans,—soft, well-worn-rarely-washed denim, the kind that fit just Goldilocks-level right—and as I realized they’d been folded in a drawer for 6 months, I squatted down, and, riiiiip.

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

If you spend much time on the internet, particularly in the personal development and/or fitness mindset space, it's likely you've heard quite a bit of talk about, "rewriting your stories," and, "releasing that which no longer serves you." 

Rather than the freedom these phrases were likely intended to impart, I was left with a slow-burning rage:

OKAY, YOU SUPER-EVOLVED BEING IN THIS TINY INSTAGRAM SQUARE, BUT HOW? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

*insert failure and shame*

Why Fitness and Nutrition Feel So Complicated


Sometimes I think we make fitness and nutrition more complicated than they need to be.

"Easy for you to say; you have a degree in this, and you've worked in this field for almost a decade. The rest of us don't have that knowledge and are supposed to eat low-carb and go on 74 walks a day one day, low-fat and nothing but short intense workouts the next," you might be thinking, and I get that.

But I firmly believe the barrier to entry feels so steep by design: if the world keeps you believing there's a secret or, "one weird trick," then you won't trust your own body or yourself, and you'll hand over whatever you have to restore that feeling of competence that seems to be locked in a golden tower.

Fighting with Your Scale? 7 Better Ways to Measure Progress

Monday morning did roll around, carrying an unwieldy dose of guilt and shame every time.

I’d wake up, feel badly for not, “sticking to the plan,” wondering why I couldn’t just have one, “cheat meal,” why I had to do this every time, why anyone ever saw anything in me other than a fraud, and I’d step on the scale.

I lived and died by that number.

If it wasn’t too far off my Friday weight, then I somehow, “got away with,’ eating foods that didn’t work for me, because my feelings didn’t matter if they weren’t reflected on the scale.

If I WAS far off my Friday weight (which I often was), I was a failure, and the only solution was to buckle down even harder the next week, promising myself that this week, a “cheat meal,” would be just one meal.

Been there? How’s it working for you?

The Scale Isn't Always a Measure of Progress.

It's Monday morning, and many of us have had our day ruined already by a digital signal flashing up at us from the bathroom floor, reminding us how much mass we have and, therefore, how much space we're allowed to take up in the world. We seem to have a sort of inverse relationship with this number: the larger it is, the more we feel called to shrink.

Rather than letting that determine what we deserve every week, we'd be wise to remember that we’re in these bodies for life, and they (WE!) are so much more than measurements and numbers.