We live in a culture that tells us we're supposed to be small, submissive, silent, second.
We're expected to deflect every compliment by saying our accomplishments are nothing.
We're urged to eschew carbs or fat or sugar or anything else that doesn't serve to make us smaller.
We're only allowed self-care as a means to take care of others better.
We're obligated to worry about getting bulky, too big, or too muscular.
We spend a lot of time deferring to others' desires, but I firmly believe that we get to define ourselves, on our own terms.
We can diet (or not), do cardio (or not), change our career paths completely (or not), stay in our messy relationships (or not), eat bread (or not), back squat (or not), loudly proclaim our activism (or not) …any number of things that we may not have realized were options while being caught up in marketing and paradigms, and we can feel good doing it.
The magic lies in allowing ourselves the time and space to explore. In asking ourselves questions. In getting curious, not judgmental, and finding out who we really are and what we truly want.
When I learned what I was really about, I realized that fitness, for me, has never felt right if I’m employing movement as a method of being less. I’m not one for shrinking: I’m loud and passionate, and any time I’ve tried to dim that, I spill over the edges of my container.
Fitness only feels right to me if I’m exploring: if I’m abandoning what our culture says I should want in favor of tuning in to my body and learning more about her. Lifting shows me I can do things I might not have thought I could do. It shows me I’m not a too-big body to be fixed, but a powerful set of legs, a strong back, and a big heart ready to stake my claim and take up space not just in the gym, but also in life. A barbell has taught me that I can craft what I want and be who I am, no apologies necessary.
What's so wrong with wanting to get big?Why can't we take care of ourselves because we're worth being loved on? Why can't we agree with a compliment? Are we not allowed to feel our damn selves?
We put in work. We show up. We come through. We do our best. We make magic.
Why hide it?