Patterns: Why Are You the Way that You Are?

If you're here, it's likely you've tried quite a few diets and exercise plans throughout your life, very few of which have made the lasting changes you were hoping.

You've tried the 21-day-"fixes," the grapefruit diets, the plans in Self magazine (I'm not picking on them, really; that was one of the first places I ever saw any sort of structured workout myself!), and they've all yielded lackluster results.

It's also highly likely that you've realized this is a pattern, and one you'd like to break.

As more of us in fitness decide we want to let go of harmful patterns (e.g., the binge/restrict cycle, over-exercising/burnout cycle), are we helping ourselves understand what to do next?

I Ripped My Pants: 3 Tips to Deal with Clothes that Don't Fit

Earlier this month, I met with a CPA.

As though taxes weren’t enough bossy boss lady fun, I made the executive decision to put on pants. If you work from home or from a gym, you know how rare an event this is.

I went to put on my favorite pair of jeans,—soft, well-worn-rarely-washed denim, the kind that fit just Goldilocks-level right—and as I realized they’d been folded in a drawer for 6 months, I squatted down, and, riiiiip.

How Do You Feel Powerful?

POWER: what does it mean to you? Where is it found?

Does it hide from you, running to the dingy corner as soon as you enter the room and turn on the light? Or does it display itself proudly, waving its flag in your life as you march like General Sherman on his way to the sea, asserting your presence and leaving flames in your wake?

As womxn in a patriarchal world, there is no shortage of places we're told we can't be. There is no dearth of reminders of our status, supposedly submissive. In the board room, in the bedroom, in the gym, in the damn left-hand lane—we're underrepresented, told we don't belong, deemed, "too emotional," to handle it.

POWER: it isn't something supposedly meant for us.

Which is why I'd like to ask you where you find it for yourself.

How to, "Release That Which No Longer Serves You," or, "Rewrite Your Stories." (Let's Cut Through the Noise, Shall We?)

If you spend much time on the internet, particularly in the personal development and/or fitness mindset space, it's likely you've heard quite a bit of talk about, "rewriting your stories," and, "releasing that which no longer serves you." 

Rather than the freedom these phrases were likely intended to impart, I was left with a slow-burning rage:

OKAY, YOU SUPER-EVOLVED BEING IN THIS TINY INSTAGRAM SQUARE, BUT HOW? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

*insert failure and shame*

Why You Haven't Tried that Fun New Movement

I spent a long time wrapped in the coiling tendrils of perfectionism, that Devil's Snare tightening its grip the harder I tried to escape it.

I've forced myself into countless situations (friendships, relationships, jobs, even a college major!) that weren't really for me, or even things I wanted. My intuition was screaming at me to get out--you know the feeling when, deep in your gut, you feel clenching, writhing, twisting, and a bit of nausea? I was a pro at ignoring it. Through lots of trial and error, I've learned to let go... slowly but surely.

One of the places this has been most prevalent in my life has been in my fitness endeavors (and, I suspect, many of yours, because I've had some version of this conversation with almost every client I've ever trained longer than a few weeks).

How to Know You're Making Progress (A Letter From (and to) My 16-Year-Old Self)

This is a note from my journal one week into my senior year of high school.

This is one of the times that journaling really tugs at your heartstrings. If you don’t have a regular journaling practice, I’d encourage you to start, even if it’s just one line in your planner or on your phone about how you felt that day, and this is why: you gift yourself the opportunity to witness your growth in real time.

How's THAT Working For You?

We tell ourselves we'll be happy when we're small enough, we'll eat the cheesecake on Friday when we've earned it, we'll love ourselves when we hit our goals.

We believe the freedom to wear a bathing suit, the deliverance that allows one to choose the curly fries as well as the salad, and the liberation to appear in candid photos are things for other people.

(Who are those people? We don't know, but they're certainly not us.)

We keep aiming to shrink ourselves, and, as a result, we stay hidden.

How's that working for you?

Why Fitness and Nutrition Feel So Complicated


Sometimes I think we make fitness and nutrition more complicated than they need to be.

"Easy for you to say; you have a degree in this, and you've worked in this field for almost a decade. The rest of us don't have that knowledge and are supposed to eat low-carb and go on 74 walks a day one day, low-fat and nothing but short intense workouts the next," you might be thinking, and I get that.

But I firmly believe the barrier to entry feels so steep by design: if the world keeps you believing there's a secret or, "one weird trick," then you won't trust your own body or yourself, and you'll hand over whatever you have to restore that feeling of competence that seems to be locked in a golden tower.

Fighting with Your Scale? 7 Better Ways to Measure Progress

Monday morning did roll around, carrying an unwieldy dose of guilt and shame every time.

I’d wake up, feel badly for not, “sticking to the plan,” wondering why I couldn’t just have one, “cheat meal,” why I had to do this every time, why anyone ever saw anything in me other than a fraud, and I’d step on the scale.

I lived and died by that number.

If it wasn’t too far off my Friday weight, then I somehow, “got away with,’ eating foods that didn’t work for me, because my feelings didn’t matter if they weren’t reflected on the scale.

If I WAS far off my Friday weight (which I often was), I was a failure, and the only solution was to buckle down even harder the next week, promising myself that this week, a “cheat meal,” would be just one meal.

Been there? How’s it working for you?

That Time I Thought, "It HAS to be Valentine's Day by now..."

If you're new to the fitness scene, welcome! The endeavor to begin a new habit can sometimes be a rocky one fraught with hiccups and false starts, making January a frustrating month for many.

If you find yourself there, hair in your hands and wondering why you even started again, know that you're not alone, and anything that hasn't gone according to plan is not a signal of failure, but a call to listen to your body and soul more deeply, asking questions to further refine your goals. What's worked so far? What hasn't? How has it felt? What's made it easy? How can you get more of that?

If you're a gym veteran, you may have had to make some space on your favorite Stairmaster or in the squat rack with the best mirror, which can also make January feel like a long month. If you've felt a bit frustrated, know that you're not alone either, and consider that anyone with the desire to share a space with you or with the courage to ask you a question is likely overcoming some uncertainty, and they'll find their rhythm soon enough (and you were new once, too).

A Gift for You!

I'm SUPER excited to be included in theBody Positive Fitness Finder, an incredible resource from Superfit Hero! There's a whole database of coaches, both in-person and online, who are, "committed to inclusivity and acceptance of all body types regardless of size, gender identity or athletic ability." I didn't know that there were so many other coaches who shared this philosophy, and I was thrilled to learn how many fitness professionals did.

AND- they gave me a small gift to give to you!

If you use the code in the photo below as you shop on their website, you can save 15% as a first-time customer, between now and February 21.

How Do You Define Yourself?

We’re told, at every turn, how we must define ourselves.

We all know the narrative of the overculture: womxn are supposed to be small, demure, delicate. We're constantly in pursuit of shrinking and forever deferring to someone – anyone – with more authority.

Many of us hold this societal ideal in the lofty turrets of our minds for a lifetime: we remain locked away like Rapunzel, hoping someone will climb the tower and ask us if that ideal is, in fact, who we are or what we want. In the meantime, we accept it and work tirelessly to fit into that mold.

Has it ever occurred to you that you can ask yourself?