"I Would Kill to Look in the Mirror and Love What I See Every Morning."
"Since I got back from Spain, I gained a lot of weight over the summer — like 10 pounds.
I know that shouldn't bother me as much as it does — weight is just a number that no one but me needs to know — but I just want to be skinny.
I eat pretty healthily most of the time, but then there are days when I completely ruin it. And not just 1 day; it's usually like 3 days in a row every 2 weeks.
I try to concentrate on it, but it's so hard... I know that the weight issue will probably be a lifelong battle for me; I just wish I was one of those very lucky people who didn't have to be concerned with it.
But I don't know really why I'm so obsessed with it either.
Being skinny won't make me any smarter or get me into Duke, & if more guys like me just because I look better then they aren't really worth it.
But I would kill to look in the mirror and love what I see every morning."
That is a note from my journal one week into my senior year of high school, but, changing a few circumstances and details, it could have been written by me 3 years ago.
Could it have been written by you?
SO many of us have bought the dream sold by the fitness industry: that once we’re lean enough, light enough, tanned and toned and waxed and sculpted enough, THEN we’ll be happy. Then all those opportunities will be offered to us. Then we’ll have the perfect partner, the perfect kids, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect meal prep... we’ll have it all figured out.
And, lucky for you, there’s a cream and a pill and a 21-Day Fix that will give it all to you, no work required, for the low low price of $19.97 (plus a $29 startup fee, and a monthly subscription of $24.95).
How’s that been working for you?
What if the answer was inside of you all along?
You walk into the gym first thing in the morning, wearing that tank top that shows off your sculpted shoulders, and you start warming up. You move around and notice you feel a little sluggish today, but, instead of your inner voice reminding you that of course you do, you watched 3 hours of Netflix in bed while eating hummus for dinner, you note that you’re a little behind on sleep and undernourished, decide to opt for a big salad for lunch instead of your usual sandwich, and move on to your workout, adjusted for your fatigue, but no guilt or shame in tow.
You complete your workout, acknowledging that it wasn’t what you had planned last week, but it felt good to get your body moving, energized and ready to take on your day, not wondering how you’ll make up for those missed calories you didn’t burn by cutting the HIIT part out of your workout.
You shower and get dressed. You put on your brand-new outfit that you bought for yourself last week when you noticed that your other pants had gotten a little tighter. You stop to notice that to go up a size used to feel soul-crushing, but now you realize that your clothes are designed to fit your body, not the other way around, and you like the newly-developed muscles in your thighs anyway.
You get through your work day, come home, and notice that your partner has gotten groceries for the rest of the week. It’s not everything you would have bought, and there are a few too many carb-based things and not as much vegetables as you would have chosen, but you take a quick look through your freezer and what else is there, and decide you can make it work. It was nice to not have to run errands when you’re already a little low on sleep; you realize there’s no need to panic with a less-than-perfect meal plan.
You enjoy dinner with your partner, then decide to forgo the Netflix tonight and get in a quick stretching and meditation session instead, and head to bed to read. You’re super wrapped up in the book you’re reading, and as you go to turn out the light, you notice that you paid attention to the story, because you weren’t turning over in your mind the hundreds of ways today went “off plan” because of something you failed to do. You make a quick mental note to try that HIIT circuit tomorrow if you’ve slept better, and turn out the light.
Quite the opposite of that 16-year-old at the beginning of the story, huh?
This may sound like a total fantasy, but it is available FOR YOU, and you’ll be well on your way to discovering it over the next 12 weeks in The Bold Body Initiative.
I’d be honored to guide you back to the womxn you want to be: the one you know you are, who’s been hiding behind fitness programs and diets and shame.
If you’re ready to let it all go and discover a fitness and wellness practice that works for you rather than against you, sign up here by midnight tonight. <3