How to Stay Cool This Summer
Do you hand over the reins of your life to the other people in it?
Can someone easily get you stressed out, frazzled, angry, anxious, overwhelmed?
Is it easy for you to take ownership of your energy, or is this something at which you must work?
Maintaining energetic boundaries is not an easy practice for me. I connect with other people, often on a deep emotional level, and it’s easy for me to blur the lines between my emotions and those of another. Before I know it, if I’m not vigilant, a conversation can be steered in a direction I had no intention of going. An argument can break out before I know what’s happening. What, in my head, was a simple dialogue of differences can become an explosion of sparring warriors, and the voice in the back of my head is on the sidelines wondering when we donned our armor.
The word “practice” is key: it is something many of us rehearse every day. It compels us to dig in and get to know ourselves, learning what our energy is and that which we’d like to maintain, and then to use every opportunity to live into our higher selves.
When we practice holding this discipline with ourselves, – when we’re alone, when no one is watching, when the stakes are low – when game day comes and the disagreement matters, we’ve prepared.
When we've put in this work, we develop a solid sense of self: we know where we end and where others begin. We stop picking up energy, trauma, and problems that we cannot resolve (we can move through our own trauma: feel it, find its roots, and break it down. We can't do that with that of another, because we will never know the full story). We mind our own business, so to speak, and we step into a powerful experience.
We are not at the mercy of others’ powerful emotions. Not always easy, especially not in emotionally-charged situations, but becomes easier with work over time.
The best way I’ve gotten familiar with these delineations is by tuning in and making sure I’m accurately describing the granular aspects of my emotions: not just sad, but despondent, or heartbroken, or disappointed. Not just angry, but confused, or irritated, or downright irate.
There are layers to ourselves, and the sooner we know where we are and that to which we aspire, the sooner we can maintain our vibe in the face of whatever is to come.
PS- we've been having some incredible chats on Instagram! Want to dig deeper into body image, autonomy, and living your BIG life? Join me here!