Stop Calling Yourself Gross.
An exercise I do with many of my clients is an examination of the words we choose to describe ourselves.
Many women come to me feeling things like, “gross,” “large and in charge,” and/or, “disgusting.”
I've been there, too, impugning my thighs for spilling over the sides of my chairs, deriding my stomach for flowing over my waistband, slamming my shoulders for ripping the seams of my shirts.
You're not alone in this shadow, but you also don't have to stay there.
Language has power.
Words have started wars, ended love affairs, taught a lesson, broken bonds, broken bread, and broken hearts.
We’re careful with the terms we use when in discussion with others, making an effort to show compassion and respect, but with ourselves? We’re reckless.
We're our own biggest bullies. We call names, we make fun, we shame, and blame, and complain (I don't think I know a single woman who hasn't called herself, "gross," a "slob," or, "fat," at least once in her life. And, sidebar, "fat" is not an insult. Using it as such perpetuates the fatphobic idea that the most important thing we can do is conform to a narrow standard of beauty—one that could never possibly include everyone—and that certain bodies are not deserving of love, safety, and respect.).
When we call attention to this, we realize a powerful fact: we spend a lot of time berating ourselves, and the words we’re using are a) not accurate descriptors of ourselves and b) stealing from us. They hold us hostage, on the outside looking in at carefree dancing on the beach, joyful movement at the gym, impromptu silly photoshoots, spontaneous happy hours and tacos with our friends.
Have you been wondering how those women do it? You know the ones: whose magic drips from every hair on their heads, who seem to move wildly without a care in the world, who show up big and loud without apology, and who throw their heads back in laughter?
It begins with a commitment to ourselves – with knowing that we are inherently worthy, carrying all the power of the Divine Feminine. And she does not suffer a steady stream of disparaging remarks (or fools).