All in body image
A distinction between self-love and self-acceptance:
#selflove is trending, for good reason: we deserve to feel safe, nurtured, and adored in our own arms. We're entitled to butterflies in our stomachs when we behold ourselves in all of our glory (and I'd encourage you to take time to do so regularly. #alwaysbefeelinyourself).
But if you're constantly pinching yourself in the mirror to focus on what doesn't measure up, self love can feel 45648 miles away.
Ready for some unconventional holiday season advice?
You don't have to "earn" your body (or mashed potatoes).
It's the language of the season, the undercurrent of every holiday-themed meal, but I don't find it productive. In fact, it often does more harm than good.
I think it's terribly destructive to use this language, not only because it sets us up on a food-as-reward-fitness-as-punishment cycle, but also because it reinforces an idea I am vehemently against.
Bodies change.
At present, you find yourself in the midst of circumstances that supply different stressors, different time constraints, and different desires than those of the ghosts of circumstances past.
Fitness doesn’t have to be a punishment.
It’s not the Visa for food binges. No debt collectors will come calling.
You’re allowed to move in a way that makes you feel good, simply because it makes you feel good.
You can discover your desires, your fears, your passion, and your power in the gym, all without changing a damn thing about your body if you don’t want to. And you can change and sculpt your body without the current iteration being “bad,” “wrong,” or, “gross,” if you so choose.
I don't believe anyone else owes me their fitness or their health.
Perhaps an unpopular opinion, considering my profession, but I believe you have every right to do whatever the fuck you want with your body, and no matter your choices, you're still worthy of love and respect.
Your worth is not tied to how hard you hustle and how much you shrink, whether that's in the gym or otherwise.
SO many of us have bought the dream sold by the fitness industry: that once we’re lean enough, light enough, tanned and toned and waxed and sculpted enough, THEN we’ll be happy. Then all those opportunities will be offered to us. Then we’ll have the perfect partner, the perfect kids, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect meal prep... we’ll have it all figured out.
And, lucky for you, there’s a cream and a pill and a 21-Day Fix that will give it all to you, no work required, for the low low price of $19.97 (plus a $29 startup fee, and a monthly subscription of $24.95).
How’s that been working for you?
Once upon a time, someone asked me if I would join them in training for a bodybuilding show.
It sounded like a good idea at the time: I’d have a group of women that would hold me accountable; I had a deadline that included me being on a stage in a tiny sparkly bikini; I had a meal plan perfectly laid out for me.
All I had to do was follow it.
Any guesses on how long that lasted for me?
Fitness is about your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
It’s about feeling at home in your body, knowing that you have a powerful tool at your disposal, ready to tackle rogue babies crawling all over your floor, a demanding work life stretching your skills, the weekend pickup kickball game with your friends, and anything else in between.
It’s about saying YES to the life you want to live without the nagging thoughts of, “I don’t have anything to wear,” or, “I shouldn’t do that, because I had too many Goldfish yesterday.”
It’s about FINALLY not missing out on 95% of your life in order to weigh 5% less.
Which is why I've developed The Bold Body Initiative, a 12-week fitness and body image group coaching program to help you feel at home in your body — no matter what you're wearing or doing or eating.
Toning, sculpting (coolsculpting?), shaping, firming: they're all the same.
They're words used to indicate physical transformation. I can get on board with that: you're powerful beyond measure, and you have the power to show up in your body (and in your life) exactly as you see fit.
The issue I take, though, is that those are almost exclusively used to give us all the same goal: getting smaller.
Fitness is about SO much more than that.
I'm not into before-and-after photos, because I don't believe in comparison.
Not even of the "#youvsyou" variety.
I've found them to be damaging for many people: implying that smaller is always better, or that the "after" version of you is somehow more worthy, the new standard against which you should measure from now on.
I'm constantly changing, and the past iteration of myself isn't bad or wrong or less evolved. She's just different.
Body image issues are complex, and their roots run deep.
Societally, all women are told we are not enough, on some level, but this is not true to the same degree for all of us.
No one issue is any more valid than another—there is space to process for all of us—but it would be shortsighted to fail to acknowledge that some issues are more costly than others, literally and figuratively.
I've discussed it before, but it bears repeating: the language you're using has a tangible impact on your perspective.
Many clients come to me unhappy with their bodies, desperately hoping that the program I present will hold all the secrets to body change, and, as a result, happiness.
They're disappointed to find out that it doesn't always work that way (I do write great programs, of course, and ones that will help you find joy, but most people are surprised to discover that getting their dream body often feels different from how they thought it would.).
Liking our bodies (and ourselves) is an inside job, one that can't be completed in an hour a day at the gym and a salad every night for dinner. It's a practice, and it often feels unreachable: how many times have you asked yourself, "how do I go from hating everything about my body to loving it? LOVING it?"
It seems a million miles away for a lot of us. It did for me.
