One Self-Care Tip for Your Weekend (and Every Day, to Nurture Your Inner Boss)
Sometimes the best I've got is doing a #Friday morning face mask, putting laundry in, and deciding—mid-Marco-Polo-client-checkin as I'm trying to escape my super loud washer/dryer, no less (I didn't exactly think that timing through)—working from bed is the move for the day.
We've been conditioned to believe we must follow the rules: sit up straight, be here at this time, wear this, do that, be quiet, look like this, eat that. Our worth is often measured by our productivity: we believe we're only worthy of rest, reflection, of any kind of space after we've gotten things ticked off our to-do lists, submitted our reports, proven our value.
You can break the rules, of course, and I'm assuming if you're here reading my work, you already know that. You may just need a reminder, so let this serve as one.
Aside from being a good exercise in #selfcare, giving yourself *exactly* what you want/need is an act of rebellion (within the realm of your current possibility; I fully recognize v few of us can decide to fly to Hawaii at 9:04a and return whenever we feel like it). I'm not one for blindly following authority, and I think each and every one of us has at least a sliver of a spirit of rebellion. You can feel it stirring every time you say, "yes," when you mean, "no," when you're given a, "preferred" way to achieve a task you were accomplishing just fine, or when you wish you could join your kid stomping her feet as hard as her tiny toes can pound the ground after you told her it was bedtime.
We all, at least somewhere deep down, want to do exactly what it is that we want to do, exactly when we want to do it. "Maturity" says we can't do that ever, and, while delaying gratification is an important life skill, we often approach this as an all-or-nothing game, in fitness, in self-care, in relationships, in work, everywhere.
We're conditioned to use our desires as a reward: usually framed as, "indulgence," only when we've earned it can we use our time on ourselves. This is a pervasive narrative for womxn especially, and it's a basic tenet of the belief that our worth is based solely on what we produce.
I find many of my clients struggle, at least at first, to stick to a program for this exact reason: we've slowly but surely handed over the reins controlling our desires to society at large. We've put off our pleasure until we've "earned it," and that's eroded our belief in the fact that we know what we need, when and how we need it. We keep us running after whatever it is we think we should do or we can do for others, while learning to disconnect from ourselves.
Rather than trust ourselves, we've looked everywhere else to tell us what we should do and when. A plan feels comforting: we're used to following the rules.
In many cases, however, those rules weren't designed with our best interests in mind. On some level, we know this, and yet we believe the lie that maybe the next one will be the one.
Let me throw a wrench in that for you:
YOU CAN TRUST YOUR BODY (AND YOURSELF).
At all times, in any circumstance, you are capable of meeting your own needs in the ways in which you would like them met.
Building in small instances in which you give yourself permission to do *exactly* what you want, when you want to, helps restore a sense of trust in both.
I firmly believe we could all use more of that.
(This is why I build it in for everyone I coach.)
So...what's your, "work from bed," today?
After a brief hiatus in accepting clients, I'll be taking one-on-one clients again, from now until the beginning of September.
For most of us, our diets and our training are meant to fit into our lives and to enhance them, not to be the yardstick by which we define ourselves or the anchor keeping us planted until we’re light enough to move on.
It’s time to divorce our fitness and body image from our sense of self-worth and get down to the business of creating a movement practice (and a life!) that serves us. Whether you're interested in fitness coaching, body image coaching, or a combination of the two, I've got you. You can learn more and hear from a few folks who have been there here, and fill out an application here.
I'm looking forward to working with you!