A la Voltaire, being a little less perfect to be a little more consistent is where it’s at. Cutting ourselves some slack, acknowledging that we’re bound to screw up, just like everyone else, and making it no big deal releases the shame associated with perfection. And we all know that shame – a message that tells us that we are this screwup, and we’ll never get it right – is not a motivator, but a prison.
For whatever change upon which we are embarking, this is the key. A lot of us (helloooo, mostly speaking to myself, but hopefully this resonates and I’m not alone. If I am, you’re about to see one of the reasons my anxiety comes out to play, so keep reading for a show) fear change, because the associated pain of changing is really a fear of not being good enough.
We assign super-deep meaning to this change – we know whatever it is will make us a better, stronger, cooler version of ourselves – and if we fail to make it happen, then we are shitty/weak/lame. So, often times, it’s easier to stay where we are, and be kinda okay, than to try something new.
Writing that down for the first time a few years ago made me realize how small and silly that was. Would you say that to your best friend, if they tried something new and didn’t get it exactly right the first time? To your kid? To your dog?
Okay, maybe to your dog. I’m not super lenient, emotionally, when Lara Croft chews something new. But, otherwise, come on.
Change is admirable. Trying to do better for ourselves is a noble pursuit, no matter the outcome. And guess what! 100% of the time, we become better, no matter what: we either learn something about ourselves, achieve a goal, or are a step closer.
So, how do we adopt this mindset to make change permanent? To move from temporary resolution to automatic habit?