All tagged habits

How's THAT Working For You?

We tell ourselves we'll be happy when we're small enough, we'll eat the cheesecake on Friday when we've earned it, we'll love ourselves when we hit our goals.

We believe the freedom to wear a bathing suit, the deliverance that allows one to choose the curly fries as well as the salad, and the liberation to appear in candid photos are things for other people.

(Who are those people? We don't know, but they're certainly not us.)

We keep aiming to shrink ourselves, and, as a result, we stay hidden.

How's that working for you?

Old Habits Die Hard. Here's How to Change Them {the tides, they are a'changin'.}.

So let's have a moment of compassion for Old You, who's fighting super hard for her last breath. She finds her worth in her appearance and truly believes that the answer is restricting, thinking that the accompanying binging is a personality and willpower flaw, rather than a natural rebellion against a plan not meant for her. She's fighting to stay alive, because she's afraid of a new possibility: one in which she can explore, and where there's no way to truly mess up. We're exploring and finding the best system for you.

Let's also acknowledge that Old You will be interwoven into You 2.0, because Old You has important, valuable lessons to teach.

Not the least of which is, she gets overwhelmed and scared sometimes (like we all do) and doesn't like feeling that way (because, who tf does?).

Old You is like a rescue puppy who is kind of a jerk and wants to pee on everything just because she's never known what it's like to be safe and loved and cared for, but actually means well and is trying really hard (analogy stolen from Elizabeth Gilbert, whose post on compassion for self is worth a read or ten.).

We want to change. We're on board with not denying our past selves. But we don't know anything other than self-deprecation, self-flagellation, and adopting plans that have nothing to do with us.


Turning Temporary Goals into Automatic Habits: a Shame-Busting Guide

A la Voltaire, being a little less perfect to be a little more consistent is where it’s at. Cutting ourselves some slack, acknowledging that we’re bound to screw up, just like everyone else, and making it no big deal releases the shame associated with perfection. And we all know that shame – a message that tells us that we are this screwup, and we’ll never get it right – is not a motivator, but a prison.

For whatever change upon which we are embarking, this is the key. A lot of us (helloooo, mostly speaking to myself, but hopefully this resonates and I’m not alone. If I am, you’re about to see one of the reasons my anxiety comes out to play, so keep reading for a show) fear change, because the associated pain of changing is really a fear of not being good enough.

We assign super-deep meaning to this change – we know whatever it is will make us a better, stronger, cooler version of ourselves – and if we fail to make it happen, then we are shitty/weak/lame. So, often times, it’s easier to stay where we are, and be kinda okay, than to try something new.


Writing that down for the first time a few years ago made me realize how small and silly that was. Would you say that to your best friend, if they tried something new and didn’t get it exactly right the first time? To your kid? To your dog?

Okay, maybe to your dog. I’m not super lenient, emotionally, when Lara Croft chews something new.  But, otherwise, come on.

Change is admirable. Trying to do better for ourselves is a noble pursuit, no matter the outcome. And guess what! 100% of the time, we become better, no matter what: we either learn something about ourselves, achieve a goal, or are a step closer.

So, how do we adopt this mindset to make change permanent? To move from temporary resolution to automatic habit?