We want it to be easy, but we expect it to be a struggle.
So it is.
All in mindset
On Learning (and Looking Stupid)
"But aren't you afraid of looking stupid on the internet, especially in the field in which you're a professional?"
Genius Without Work is a Myth.
When I was much younger than I am now, I was lamenting being a decidedly mediocre swimmer. I was decent, to be sure, and won a state gold medal once, but never succeeded in larger competitions, despite training with those who did and being able to keep up in practice.
I was frustrated and consulted my dad, the beacon of all wisdom at the time (to be clear, now that I'm almost 30, I'm back in the stage where I find him pretty smart. Hey, Dave!). He told me that as a coach, he'd take the person who worked hard over the person with natural talent any day of the week. His words were meant to encourage (and, to an extent, I agree), but they sent up an interesting dichotomy in my head: if you have natural talent, you don't have to work hard, and, if you work hard, you must not have much natural talent. You can't have both.
Why?
Be the Snowflake, and What I'm Reading
Happy December!
December, for me, is a month full of wonder.
When the snow is falling, fuzzy socks are on, and twinkle lights abound, I revert to childlike innocence.
The end of the year can be a tough time: it's full of rushing, of consumerism, of trying to make everyone happy, of too much food and too little movement, and, most of all, of us judging ourselves, more often than not.
HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE
The holidays are coming up. Everyone's favorite time.
And, let's face it, even more so than last year, this might be a tough season for you, if your friends and/or family members aren't on the same political or social (or any -al) page as you are.
Everyone tries to deny the tension, pretend like it's not there, or (my personal favorite) make a sassy statement that explodes into World War whatevernumberwereonnow. We often white-knuckle our way through holidays, gritting our teeth and forgetting to enjoy the time of joy, gratitude, and community (some of our favorite things!).
You should keep working at it (even if you kind of suck at it right now).
What I DO want to discuss today, is that the "it" - YOUR "IT" - the thing your subconscious won't let you drop - is not just a looming, unreachable, would-be-nice goal, but a thing toward which we can take steps. Every day. All the time.
Not just when we're "ready," but also now.
Real Talk (x5) : Let's Crush (if I don't make you mad first).
It's no secret that I began here after being at a crossroads in my life. Crossroads are never easy places. Sometimes they're huge, with flashing neon signs, and sometimes, they're much more understated, and we don't even realize they were pivot points until much later.
Each and every day contains hundreds of choices, all of which move us closer to or further away from the people we want to be.
Some of my best writing was borne from exploring this concept, realizing that, no matter what the circumstances, I still remained the powerful, worthy being I have always been.
Want a Hot Dog on Labor Day? Choose It.
Get real: we don’t *have to* eat any particular way. We don’t have to stick to any one diet; we aren’t being force-fed vegetables; we are under no obligation to eat all the ice cream. All we have are choices to make.
There’s power in owning this choice. And it’s magical, because, all of a sudden, we can examine ourselves in our fullness (no pun intended). We get to ask, “am I choosing the hot dog just because that’s ‘what you do’ at a barbecue, or am I choosing the hot dog because it’s what I actually want?” Avoiding the spiral starts with choosing the indulgences we’re truly excited about and owning that decision.
Body Change: A Manifesto
For a moment, consider that what we’re really doing when we “go on a diet” is utilizing a tool to get to a goal. It’s a means to an end.
Allowing for that, our goal is the goal (as in, the diet is not the goal; the dress or 400lb deadlift or feeling at peace is the goal.). And the tools we have (current pattern of eating) are not the right ones for the job (we can’t hammer a nail with a phone charger), so we’re looking to find the right tool for the job. Nothing over which to get too distracted; we just need to find the one that’s good enough for us to use consistently to get the job done. With me?
Gathering all this data, a year or so ago, after reading one from Dr. Brooke Kalanick (good resource for female hormones, particularly PCOS and Hashimoto’s, but also general mindset reading, if you’re into that.), I created my own body change manifesto. Rather than a bunch of rules, I wanted a way of approaching food that made me feel empowered, rather than defeated; that gave me permission to explore, rather than ascribing to any particular 12-week plan; that looked at me as a whole person, rather than just the foods I eat. Going back to the concept of active acceptance, knowing that we can choose to accept our bodies while still wanting them to change, our thoughts surrounding food become different: they become a declaration of independence, guidelines to our goals with a healthy dose of freedom. If you’d like to know what that would look like, mine is as follows:
On bodies: active acceptance, being born under a Libra moon, and other hippie shit. ✨
Our worth isn't wrapped up in our dietary choices, our goals, or our appearance. We're meant for more than to obsess over these things, and, for some of us, the way out is to try many methods before we arrive at what will work for us to find our freedom. In the quest for personal development, physical and otherwise, we are all sojourners navigating our stops.
I'm not sure we ever truly arrive and stay. But I am sure that it's always our duty to accept and own where we are and allow others the space to do the same.
This is How you Find your Calling. And get Great at it. (#grittyAF)
More than anything, success and achievement are the result of developing a passion and seeing it through. Fitness, like many things in life, but contrary to societal messages, presents boundless opportunities for expansion. We get to choose to push our limits, to realize we can set goals and smash them, to develop the competence and confidence to push through the hard, ride the waves, and come out where we set out to be. (Chatting new commitments on the biz page! Hop over.)
On Staying in Your Lane, Dropping Comparison, and Cultivating Compassion.
We get to stay in our lane. Which is great news, because that’s all we can control, and it’s bigger over here anyway.
We get to turn our Victim narrative into a rewritten story of power at any time we choose. We get to claim our space and claim our freedom. We get to be honest – all the way honest, highlighting where we’re playing into it too – and become a Warrior focused on growing bigger, oozing more compassion, and being better.
We get to step into our dreams, eyes wide open, full of power.